Chapter 10

Amnon Saxe found it impossible to focus on his work, his mind consumed by his encounter with Lillian. He retreated to his office, realizing that the more he engaged with the outside world, the sooner he would reveal what Lillian had asked of him – and what he had agreed to. Time slipped away as he was engulfed in a whirlwind of emotions.

His anger at Dol – what he’d done to his family, what he’d done to the land Amnon loved – faded into hope that Lillian would be a champion for a return to the goodness of Merlain.  This flowed into fear of what would happen if he were caught in the decption, which gave way to thr courageous thought that if he didn’t do something, then who would?  Blame kicked in toward all of the weak-spined citizens who experienced the same oppression, if not worse, but remained cowed under Zungher Dol’s power.  And the cycle would start over.

As the day drew to a close, Amnon Saxe was a wreck.  A soft knock on his door went unnoticed, the first sound to penetrate his self-imposed isolation was Keetha’s voice.  “Is everything alright?”

Amnon swung around, eyes wide and hair a mess.  “Keetha?”

“I’ll take that as a no,” she said, closing the door behind her.  Amnon stared at her silently.  He wanted to tell her so much, but didn’t want to tell her anything.

“How did the interrogation go?”  She guided him to his chair, sat him down, and began to run his shoulders.  Amnon remained silent.  “That good, huh?  Is this because you had to work with Saw, or did Lillian scramble your brains?”

At this Amnon grabbed her hands and looked at her.  How could he express to her what couldn’t be expressed.  Not there, at least.  Probably not ever.  Keetha moved around and sat on the edge of Amnon’s desk.  She crossed her arms and sized him up the way a physician might if trying to make a rough diagnosis of a patient.  Then, after a moment, “You come to my place.  I’ll make you dinner.  You don’t have to tell me anything, but you obviously need a change of environment.”  She held his face in her hands.  “I’ll see you later.  Don’t forget.”  She kissed him on the forehead and walked out.

Amnon stared at the place where Keetha had stood.  Yes, he thought, a change of environment, a new perspective, that would do a world of good.  Still, he sat in his chair, unmoved as the sky grew darker.  How could he free Lillian alone?  How was he going to contact Evan Gold without getting caught?  Of all people, why did she choose him?

With great effort, he pushed himself out of his chair and made his way from the office to the street.  The less people could read his face, the better it would be for all involved.  Amnon buzzed Keetha’s door, and she greeted him with a warm smile.  “I was starting to get worried,” she said taking him by the hand and closing the door.  Amnon’s eyes were greeted by an intimate restaurant-style table complete with polished plates and glowing lights.  His spirit calmed almost immediately.  Amnon looked at Keetha, “This looks nice,” he said.

“It should,” she smiled, “I made all of your favorites.  Have a seat.”

He did.

Keetha began to serve the courses.  “How was it today?  Or can you not say?”

Amnon knew he needed to work out how to communicate what happened in a way that gave nothing away, and who better to practice on than Keetha?  “It was… fine.”

“Fine?  You should tell that to your face.  Can you tell me what she’s like?  You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her.  I mean I’ve seen photos but I always assumed they were manipulated in to some fashion.  Does she look like her pictures?”

Amnon nodded.  “You know that myth about royalty?  Like they have some special quality the rest of us don’t have?”  Keetha nodded as she took a mouthful of food.  “I don’t know if it’s a myth of not.  She’s the first royal I’ve been around.  But there was a presence about her that I’d never sensed in someone before.  Regal is the best word for it, I think.”

“Mmm.”

They continued dinner in silence.  The longer the silence continued, the more Amnon retreated into his thoughts.  He desperately wanted to tell Keetha everything, but didn’t want to get her in trouble.  If he failed at this, he wanted to be the only one damaged in the aftermath.  Still, if he didn’t tell someone, he could tell he might have a breakdown.  Amnon set down his utensil, “Want to go for a walk?”

“I thought you’d never ask,” she said, setting her utensil down, too.  “Let me get a jacket.”

They walked down the darkened Valdrin streets.  Amnon felt confident that though they could be easily surveilled, it would be difficult to be overheard.  Once they were several blocks away from Keetha’s building and the city center, Amnon told her everything Lillian had planted in his brain.  He told her of Lillian’s promise that freeing her, shutting down the Central Processing Unit, letting in the Coellum forces, all of it, would result in a free Merlain.  There was only one catch – Evan Gold.

Keetha asked who he was.  Amnon didn’t know except that he wasn’t Merlain and the only way to get him with through a fetterseal link.  And they had to contact him because of the code embedded in the link.  Keetha stopped and looked deep into Amnon’s eyes.  “You’re worried that if this goes badly, we will die.  Is that it?”  Amnon shook his head.  “I’m worried that if this goes badly, you’ll be killed.  I’m mostly dead inside already because of the compromises I’ve made to make it to this point.  I don’t see how any of this is possible, but I can’t not try.”  Amnon took Keetha’s hands in his, “I don’t want you to get hurt because of me.”

Keetha’s mouth spread into a warm smile.  “Well,” she said, “we all have to die from something.”

“I’m serious,” Amnon said, continuing his walk.

“So am I.”

“How am I supposed to contact this Earth-dweller?  I don’t have a better seal receiver, and all better seal transmissions are scanned.

Keetha’s eyes twinkled and she gave a soft laugh, “But they don’t have to be scanned.”  Amnon stopped walking.  “I know you feel like you’re the only one who wants to resist Dol, but,” Keetha looked around to make sure she wasn’t overheard, “but you’re not.  I’m going to take a risk with you because you took a risk with me.  I know people, I know a group, who want what we want.  These people have developed technologies, I don’t know how they work, but nothing ventured.  We try to make contact with this guy and take the next step that comes to us.”

This was more than Amnon’s depleted mental capacity could handle, “You’re associating with rebels?”

“Associating sounds a little formal.  I’m friendly with some of them, yes.  I told you about what happened to my dad, right?”  Amnon nodded.  “Okay then, let’s just admit I’m one to put my vendettas into action.”  Keetha linked her arm with Amnon’s and continued walking.  “Let me talk with them.  Explain the situation.  If it makes sense to them, we reach out to this, what did you say his name was?”

“Evan Gold.”

“This Evan Gold person.  Who knows?  Maybe he doesn’t answer the call, and no one’s worse for wear.”

“Or he does, and we’re in it up to our necks.”

“Only one way to find out,”  Keetha said as they had just then arrived back at her building.  “I’ll reach out to them and I should be able to have an answer in the morning.  I can tell you’re going to have a difficult time keeping your face from showing your thoughts.  You’re going to have to put this out of your mind for a while.  Let the situation come to you.  There is absolutely nothing that worrying about it will accomplish.  Okay?”

“I wish I could say that this evening has relaxed me.”

Keetha smiled.  “Get some sleep, and I’ll see you at work.”  She pecked him on the cheek and made her way inside the high-rise.

Amnon stood on the street a moment longer.  The day had gone from normal to strange to deadly without him seeing any of it coming.  He turned to head to his home.  He had to get some sleep.  He needed to do what Keetha said about getting his mind on something else.  Then he remembered that he had Lillian’s trial and execution to prepare for.  Amnon smiled.  That should take his thoughts.  He smiled at the irony that he would be planning for the demise of Lillian while at the same time planning for her release and victory.  He hoped Keetha knew what she was doing.

Amnon made it home and fell into bed without going through his normal routine.  For a long while his mind would not shut off, but then, as had happened every night up till that point, fatigue took over and he fell into a deep, deep sleep.